Welcome to "Thinking Out Loud" with Dr. Joe Currier!  Here, we'll be regularly sharing Dr. Joe's latest groundbreaking insights.

As a leader….how do you build a HEALTHY culture in your team, family, or organization?  EVERYTHING is based on the foundation of two essential elements:  Truth & Trust.

On today’s episode, we go behind the scenes of my NEW self-led online certification, The 10 Leadership Contracts (Now Available) and talk about how to build on those two foundational elements. You can learn more about the 10 Leadership Contracts Self-Led Onlince Certification here.

Transcript:

Andrew J. Mason:

This is Thinking Out Loud with Dr. Joe Currier. Episode 13, the 10 leadership contracts. Welcome to Thinking Out Loud with Dr. Joe Currier. My name's Andrew J. Mason, and this is the show where we hit the pause button on life, head to the locker room for some life-changing halftime inspiration, and then zoom back in and grab the tactics direct from Dr. Joe's playbook to pull it all together when we're on the field. Well, today we are so excited because Dr. Joe has released a brand new self-land online certification for leaders and teams and those who coach or mentor or train them. It's based on his 10 Leadership Contracts book. In this course, he gives you the keys to be able to teach and coach and utilize the 10 leadership contracts yourself, as the super powerful leadership tool and framework to add to your toolbox. Once we heard about this, we had to pull them aside from his busy schedule and ask him all about it. Excited to have Dr. Joe with us here today. Dr. Joe, welcome back.

Dr. Joe Currier:

Thank you. My pleasure.

Andrew J. Mason:

Well, many people familiar with your work know that the 10 Leadership Contracts is already an awesome book, but what led you down the road of a certification, so that others could teach this as well? Actually, let's go further back. Where did the 10 leadership contracts themselves come from?

Dr. Joe Currier:

You know, Andrew, like so many of the things that I've done, I'd like to tell you that I've been very thoughtful and had this genius mind sitting there, but it wouldn't be true. It would be a lie. It came out of an experience. I was doing a leadership workshop in Texas with a president of a company that I just admired this man so much. At the very end of the session, we had done some really deep work with the team, really exploring some of the ways that people can serve each other and serve the mission together. I remember him looking at his team and he said, "Look, when you go back and you get with your teams, what I want you to do is," and he paused for a second. He says, "I want you to build contracts, real contracts with these people."

Dr. Joe Currier:

I remember getting on the plane by myself and heading home, and that word kept sticking in my mind. I remember getting down to my computer and I looked up the dictionary definition of contract and I kept looking. There was just something going on. It was intuitive. I finally saw the word promise, and it was the spirit of promise made is a promise kept. That's one of the examples. Part of my job at that time, I was a Chief Learning Officer of a international organization. But over the years I used to tongue in cheek say that my job is not the Chief Learning Officer. It's the Chief Listening Officer. That is so often I have gotten these ahas, either through own life where I'm the child in me reached out and said, "Oh my God, do you realize, or do you know, or how do you feel?"

Dr. Joe Currier:

And, when I'm sitting in either in a therapeutic or a coaching situation where these teachers show up with their wisdom in their pain and their greatness, their joys, and that's where it starts an my mind starts working. I started putting together, what are the contracts, forget the number, but what are the contracts that would build something special, that would serve both the self, partners, as well as the mission of the organization?

Andrew J. Mason:

You know, Dr. Joe, I think of your promises made, promises kept philosophy, and that all trust is really based on that foundation, that there's safety here. There's you and me. If we're working together and we can trust each other, then we can build on top of that. But if we don't have that, it doesn't matter what we build. The foundation isn't there. I feel like when you talk about being in these coaching roles, for the person that you're coaching, usually just like that chiropractic adjustment, there's only an alignment off by an inch or two, but once you just get it all straight, let's run. Let's go. In your eyes, is that truly the foundation for this course?

Dr. Joe Currier:

One of the things I'd like to talk about, just like aligning with what you just said, like a chiropractic alignment is the word trust. You used it, but I think there's another T that should go with it. Truth and trust. How do you align those? How do you really build? Because we look at that and so often, in the parental world, a parent to a child or in terms of the hierarchical world of military or business or coaching within professional teams, the higher you go, the more authority you have, but that doesn't give you the truth. You get my truth and then there's your truth, and then there's the truth. I think part of what I'm always looking for is the intention, as well as the actual ability and impact to create a bridge where people can explore my truth and know that it is simply my truth.

Dr. Joe Currier:

I may outrank you. I may be bigger than you. I may be older than you. I may be the parent, but I think as we start to engage each other and build one of the contracts around communication, is to understand that there is your truth and my truth, regardless of your age. If you're a nine-year-old, you have the truth of a nine-year-old. That truth is not fully understood or felt, then the word trust comes in, where people start getting cautious. I think part of this is looking for the alignment. The old saying is that you burn bridges or build bridges. We want to build the communication. By the way, first with the authentic self, the beginning of all leadership is how are you doing on your journey and how are you showing up at what the choices you're making?

Dr. Joe Currier:

Then the second part is going from the me to we, building that bridge. This is where I think great leaders have to understand, it's more about listening than the expertise, or just speaking. It's about listening, understanding Stephen Covey's fifth habit, seek first to understand, then to be understood. You don't have to agree with me, but when I feel heard and understood, man, you got a partner,

Andrew J. Mason:

It's funny because sometimes you hear the same concepts expressed in different terms. Just recently I heard the term psychological safety, and I think it came out of a study with Google, where different teams were put together. The difference that made how fast the teams went or how good they were able to accelerate was their level of psychological safety with each person. I feel like this is already what we're talking about. This has been around for years and years, and obviously this isn't a brag or toot your own horn, but do you mind sharing some of the people that you've had success sharing this material with, just so that they can see, hey, this has worked in the real-life business cultures out there.

Dr. Joe Currier:

I've seen it many years ago with the Cleveland Browns when it was under Sam Rutigliano was a coach. I had the privilege of partnering there. It's many years ago. The Baltimore Ravens, both from the owner, Steve Bisciotti, you'll see in a number of the things that I have written about, he is one of my real, true teachers. I mean, this is a man who, some of his truth, some of the things that he sees through the eyes of a "owner or a business person" is so unique. Then Coach Belichick, again, a man, who again, he coached in a transformational way looking to see, how do you change people's lives, not just create wins? Those are some of them. There's the Allegiance group. There's a lot of different companies and organizations and every one of them, there'd be one or two people there that I would say was as a Chief Listening Officer, man. That I learned. My job then was, I would often put them into some type of principal.

Dr. Joe Currier:

I saw Steve Bisciotti do something extremely painful at one point and very powerful, with his leadership. They were really going through the growth of a team. I remember sitting back and watching that. Then, we came away with this concept of the team rule, the one rule. That is, the one thing that great teams need is open communications, the ability to at least speak my truth and to get a sense that you have heard me. I think that would be the beginning. I've always been, I believe, a good listener and that word empathy sitting back in one of the things around the empathy is having gone through and connected dots in my life where I was at the short end of the stick many, many times, be it through best of intention of people, nobody gets to be wrong today.

Dr. Joe Currier:

Don't be around tomorrow by the way, but nobody gets to be wrong today. We're not trying to make anybody a bad guy, but I had to learn the hard way. I think I stepped out of the life role. It's kind of a psychological game, whereas as psychologist, I've protected them, but the reality was the child in me and the growing adult in me and the responsible "leader" in me, I think was always trying to be part of these conversations, not just the good doctor. One of the things you've also mentioned ... we're going to have to take our hat off to Abraham Maslow, when he talked about the basic needs of human beings. You already touched on it Andrew, and that is, do you feel safe? If you're not feeling safe, we are in trouble. You're going to be in a survive, not a prosper mode.

Dr. Joe Currier:

From safety, when you get that taken care of, you can go into this stage of what they call affiliation, where you start building a bond when you go there. Some individuals then move up to either the self-esteem or at least somehow looking for some leadership voice and then gradually moving towards the self-actualization, you must be all that you can be type of thing. I've learned from the great thinkers, and I've also tried to apply in terms of the journey I've been on at 76 years old, just watching the journey I've been on, what did I learn and who are my teachers, et cetera. We used to see that, in the advertising for United States Army, that they would take Maslow's statement, be all you can be. Beautiful statement, powerful with the U S army.

Dr. Joe Currier:

However, that's not what he said. He said, "I must be all that I can be." Every one of us has this voice inside of us, this driving vision to be all that we can be. Again, when we can also go from the I, where we start finding that, and we find our mission and our purpose, and then see people who are like-minded. I don't mean clones. I mean, where we can have open dialogue and lock arms together, the power of uniting, the power of in a group, wow.

Andrew J. Mason:

That's right. Honestly, everything that we're addressing here is showing up in the 10 Contracts Certification. This is something that you've taken years and years of self-study, and we're presenting it, not just as an online course for you and consumption. I mean, you can do that. You're welcome to do that. We hope you do, but it's also something that's going to be made available for you to teach to other people, so standing on the shoulders of giants, if you will. Dr. Joe, talk to me about some of the actual content. Let's zoom in a little bit.

Dr. Joe Currier:

If we were to look at the 10 contracts, we start with the number one and I think it's critical. It says that it starts out challenging the business myth, there is no I in the word team. That's a cute slogan, but it's just not true. It's Steve Bisciotti again, I mentioned the respect I have for them. He once said to me, "Human behavior determines business behavior." Just think about that. Now we can put on a uniform and we can look at rank and role, which gives us a psychological size, but it doesn't mean that it builds good communication or creates real psychological safety, like you use that phrase. The key is these things.

Dr. Joe Currier:

They actually start to force against force rather than force coming together. But it's because I said so, or because if you look and see the rank, that assumption there is therefore this person has either a thinking process or some right to guide and lead me or to tell me what to do versus create a real passionate partnership. Because again, remember, most leaders, I'm thinking of Ronald Reagan's old statement, our former President. Great leaders don't necessarily do great things. They get other people to do great things. It's one thing to be a hero, but the leader, if we think of the term or the orchestra leader, she doesn't play the instruments. She gets me to play that and symphonize this with 10s and 20s and 30 other great musicians, et cetera. THe job here, the first contract is the show up in the authentic self, to speak my truth. Right time, right place, right people, by the way.

Andrew J. Mason:

Dr. Joe, this makes me think of your power acronym, where there's passion, ownership, wellness, and relationships. Out of that flows the E, the excellence in the relationship, where it's better to fall in love with the process, not necessarily in the outcome, because when you fall in love with that process, the outcome will follow you. That's something I hear Seth Godin talk about all the time, embracing the fear, embracing the dance and staying focused on that, and out of that flows the outcome. But to get it switched, if you chase the outcome, you miss the other things.

Dr. Joe Currier:

What is this process again? When you measure by outcome alone, you're making a mistake. The question is, am I, any individual, giving me absolute best at this moment. I think we should celebrate that. We don't reward it though. Remember, the recognition versus reward principle here, but I make sure that we celebrate that. Then, your job is to capture what have you learned as you continue on in the journey? That's where you're going to end up with greatness. The other thing, Andrew, is when I came up one day and I realized that Joe, "Why the hell did you do that?" The answer is because I'm dumb. Let me spell that with D-U-M. I don't understand the meaning or the message that I'm creating and the impact that I'm creating with that. That's where we start looking at these contracts again.

Dr. Joe Currier:

It is your job, as my partner to say, "Joe, are you open to some feedback?" The third contract, the one rule, the team rule, which says you have an obligation to tell me. You know something that I don't. It's not landing with the way I had intended it. I thought I was speaking as a partner. Meanwhile, you're hearing it as an abusive or controlling message. That's not okay, but I won't know that because I'm Dum. I don't understand the message that I'm sending, the impact that I'm creating. That's where the aha comes in, that says, "Wow, thank you," because all's you're giving me is information. Andrew.

Dr. Joe Currier:

When we look at the third contract, for example, it's about giving information, thoughts, and feelings, and then the individual can decide, is it landing in the way that I had intended? Am I receiving that? Does it make sense to me? If not, I say, "Hey, thank you. I don't agree with you, but please don't ever stop sending me those types of messages, that shows me that you're my partner," because silence is not a sign of partnership. It's a missed opportunity.

Andrew J. Mason:

To our listeners, can you hear that though? Do you hear how this contract is based on the foundation of that first part we were talking about, where there's truth and trust? If that's not there, this isn't going to work. It's all going to fall apart. Even bringing forward that R&R, that you talked about the reward, then the relationship or the recognition and the relationship very often, I know we lump them together. If you don't thin slice those things, then people are going to get the wrong ideas about their self-esteem. We cross those wires all the time. Just because you failed, doesn't mean you're a failure. That's an event, not a person. You teach, but it also doesn't mean you get the reward either. You don't want to wire the wrong things up in somebody's brain.

Dr. Joe Currier:

Exactly. Andrew, by the way, as you look through the 10 contracts, if the people were to take a close look in there, you'll see a sprinkling and as well as a statement. That is, part of the issue here is you and I are operating often blindfolded. We're operating in terms of our intention. If you believe you know your impact, you're wrong. You don't know it until, "I tell you", and I don't mean right or wrong, correct, or do you have the answer to the formula or not? Is two plus two equals four. It's about the intent of the individual versus the impact. That's what we have to make sure that we're making this connection, and my job is to be curious about how and what you're hearing.

Dr. Joe Currier:

How is it showing up to you? Joe, it feels as if you're talking down to me or Joe, it feels as if you don't think I'm a very smart person, like you're lecturing me here. Wow. I'm sorry you feel that way versus what the heck do you mean? I didn't, and we go back into defending versus listening, intent versus impact, the critical part. I need you Andrew, and I need other individuals to help me because I don't know what, I don't know. A gentleman many years ago said to me, "Joe, it takes two or more people to understand one human being." Again, I'm always operating out of best intention, I hope. The question is, it landing the way that I had hoped it would? That's in your hands to let me know.

Dr. Joe Currier:

That's what you need to be thoughtful, also mature, and not spring back in a political or in a defensive way, but versus, "wow, I'm sorry. You feel that way. No wonder you're angry with me. If you spoke to me and I had that message in my mind, also, I be angry with you too. Why don't we stop for a second? Let's listen to each other."

Andrew J. Mason:

Well, I hope people understand how this builds one on top of the other and the higher you go, just like a ladder going up the rungs, you need that foundation of truth and trust, but once you have those table stakes, you're able to climb higher and see out farther, just like a ladder.

Dr. Joe Currier:

You used the word ladder, also in that. I love what you're just saying. Thank you. Maslow would tell you in his hierarchical statement here, like a pyramid, until you get right with the lowest level of safety, for example, you're really not going to be able to communicate and really relate on a higher level. We need to climb this ladder towards self-actualization. The first step is feeling nourished, making sure that we have the basics around us, getting up into areas around safety. From there, we get into affiliation and partnership, et cetera. If you haven't done the work on a lower level, it's like trying to climb a ladder, an air ladder. There's an air guitar, we make believe we're playing. There's no such thing. Many people are not, especially with this pandemic, in fact, that double and triple pandemic that we're facing right now, they're just not feeling safe. The question is, why not, and what can we, the plural, what can we do, in terms of helping to build that sense of safety?

Andrew J. Mason:

That's perfect. Well, I do see that we're almost at time, so I do want to wrap it up, but also let people know how they can get this self-lead online certification for themselves and start teaching the material to others. The course is called the 10 Leadership Contracts, and we've been honored to partner with the great folks over at Wisdom Destinations to deliver the course. If this is something that you want to gain for yourself or your business, or even at an enterprise level for your organization, you can click the link in the show notes, head directly there, or you can head over to Wisdomdestinations.com. Just scroll down. Click the button certification collection, and you'll find Dr. Joe's course there. Dr. Joe, as always thank you so much for spending time with us today.

Dr. Joe Currier:

Thank you, Andrew. What a pleasure.

Andrew J. Mason:

Mm-mm (negative) Pleasure's mine. Thank you all so much for listening to the show. Until next time, this was Thinking Out Loud with Dr. Joe Currier. Leadership transformation, growth acceleration.